So to be fair I’m no longer pooping, but this idea did come up while I was taking a shit. In a serendipitous moment I came across a tweet asking “How does a blind person know when to stop wiping?” I brought this question to my group of friends and we spiraled down the toilet hole. First thing I learned was that people wipe in many different ways.
- The classic lean and wipe. Now this seems to be a standard for majority of people and rightly so. You fold your TP properly and lean to eleven o’clock to do your business.
- The stand and squat. I didn’t even know this was an option, but apparently people will stand up from the toilet and clean their starfish. I guess, in the scheme of things, this allows you to properly clean yourself while working out the glutes.
- Lift balls with right hand while wiping with left hand towards your ball sack. This is fucking ridiculous! What asinine individual would do something so stupid? Ill tell you who. My dumb fucking best friend, who I will now be referring to as shit balls.
Now this all started from the questions “How does a blind person know when to stop wiping?” No one likes to look at shit, but to make sure we don’t have poop-butt, we do what we got to do. So I brave the storm and check on the first wipe. I need to know what I am working against and prepare myself. After evaluating the damage I will wipe until I feel comfortable and proceed to wipe one more time. After the last wipe I make one final check. You can never be to careful, I once dated a girl with white sheets and was terrified of what could have been. Apparently, not all people take my precautions. Some people will wipe until they feel comfortable without checking. Little too dangerous for my taste.
This has been a brown-eye opening experience for me and I hope it has been for you as well.
-Dex
Dex Might Know 
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