If you read this blog then you’re probably fucked in the head, so every once in a while I try to write something that will enrich your life. You’re welcome! Today I’ll be discussing the non-negotiables men and women have for their significant other. Now being the Casanova I am it’s safe to say I know women both inside and out.. zing. From Gossip Girl to Gilmore Girls, blush to kegel balls, it’s safe to say I have a fair understanding of what makes our female counterparts tick. But my curiosity beckoned, and so I decided to ask some folks what they look for in a partner.
So where to start… women are very complicated and men are dumb as shit. I sent a text to a sample group of men and women I know asking, “What are your boxes for husband/wife material?” The females involved text back right away and had a follow-up text of why? I think most of them thought I was trying to get my shit together and figure out what woman want in a guy. Jokes on them I already started watching Queer Eye For The Straight Guy. YASSS QUEEN! The gentleman wanted to know why and couldn’t answer the question without a little coaching. Here’s a breakdown of the responses I received.
Females:
Financially stable
Not greedy with money. Those two made me laugh
Attractive
Taller than me
Good group of Friends
Likes my friends
Gives me space
Willing to do stuff he doesn’t usually do
[Editors note: Listen, hun, he’s dating you so he is already doing something he doesn’t want to do. JK Love you all]
Makes decisions: Where to eat, movie etc…
Sense of humor
Wants kids
Has a hobby
Supports in multiple ways
I dumbed down this list because the vast majority of our patrons have the same level of intelligence as yours truly. So what I learned is that our female counterparts lie and list what their current boy toys have to offer. They all made sure to dance around certain characteristics to make sure their knight in shining armor looked like a goddamn American hero. And I fucking love that. Ladies, we know you know whats wrong with us and we applaud you for trying your best to make sure the world remains oblivious.
Males:
Hot
Social
Loyal
Tiggol Bitties-This guy fucks
Makes me less shitty
Not overly clingy
Similar morals
Will make a good mother
Does most bedroom things
Guys just want a woman they enjoy looking at, makes their peepee hard and lets them get fucked up every once in a while with their boys.
When I first started this I thought these things would be miles apart and at first glance, they seemed to be. However, if you really dive into it they are pretty much the same. Except only one girl mentioned sex and majority of the guys did. Fuck you, Dr. J Mortimer Granville, the world has never been the same. Women and men describe what they want in a SO the same way the describe colors. Females see magenta while most men see purple. Both are right in their own regard but varying perspectives promotes diverse answers.
Now as you all start to make your lists it is important to remember, there is no such thing as a perfect person. No one is going to check all of the boxes, you just need to make sure they’re checking the ones that matter most to you. For instance, I need a girl who will let me be her prince charming but has no problem laying down the law when it needs to be done.
One topic that is always difficult for a relationship is sex. As I mentioned this did not come up for the women, but it did for the men. I know sex drives nearly every person, I have personally dated a girl that I could not keep up with at all, thank you, Dr. J Mortimer Granville for helping me out on this one. One thing to think about when it comes to sex is when you have sex do you enjoy it? If so does the next 5-10 minutes of sex really make your life so difficult? If you don’t enjoy the sex, either teach them or get out.
*Blog on how to tell your boy toy how to scratch that itch just right coming soon
I also asked my best friend this question and God himself couldn’t have answered it better. Take note everyone.
-Dex
Dex Might Know 
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