2020 was a wild ride of a year for the 10-Guys-Cup league. We witnessed a commissioner step down from his podium and rise with a crown and trophy. A league of degenerates saw there once crowned champ claw his way into the playoffs, only to be knocked out by the new guy in the league. This collection of friends went through a pandemic that tried to tear down the conduit that binded their tiny dicks, shut up Charlie and Gabe, together but came through as the family they all needed.
With that being said it’s time the Champ, El Capiton himself, 4.5 hard or better known Dextrick Michelle Abeyta to grade you lucky Son Bitches draft.
2 Rings 1 Cuck Aka Paul- Grade B
With the second overall pick Paul made the smart decision of selecting Dalvin Cook, which I can not disagree with. Overall Paul has a solid starters with a top tier RB, TE and an RB 2 with a high upside. Were things get dicey is how his team is littered with Flex WR’s. Banking on J. Williams and T Williams to be strong flex palyers will be his saving grace and help himself secure another year in the playoffs. Lets all enjoy watching him pick up a new QB each week. Starting 0-1 doesn’t end your season buddy.
The Bussy Whooper AKA Miller- Grade D–
Miller came out hot with the 10 pick and drafted the Austin Ekler leaving 5 better RBs on the board. He followed it up by drafting the number one WR . After he kept his trend of reaching for players and peppered his team with solid bench players. Miller picked two eagles players early, allowing us to watch his team plummet as fast as the eagles do this year. His prep for the draft was apparent as his pasty white skin.
You’re in Chubble Aka Dustin- Grade C
I do not hate Nick Chubb in the first round and think Chris Carson was drafted right where he should have been. After Diggs Dustin filled his team with a myriad of no name bench players that he will be guessing each week on who to start. Luckily he has Noah Fant and will be able to trade the future top 5 TE to add some depth to his team. I feel bad for Dustins back to back non-playoff appearances. It will be fun watching you upset Paul this year, even though you have no chance of the playoffs.
GibSons of Anarchy aka Charlie- Grade B+
Charlie gets a half point boost just for having the best name in the league. He has already cemented his playoff bound with one of the more well rounded teams in the league. His achilles heal of OBJ at flex 2 is secured with Jerry Juedy on his bench waiting to fill that roll. The battle of Montgomery and Gibson will have for the second RB spot his a great problem to have. As high as I am on Charlies team it has the making of the San Diego Chargers playoff run from 04-09. Good not great.
Davantaste Deez Nuts Aka Daniel- Grade B-
If Charlie gets a half point boost for his team name Daniel gets a half point deduction for is word vomit he put on Sleeper. Grabbing Davante Adams in the spot he had is arguably the smartest thing he will do all year or so i thought. He was gifted Saquon Barkely in the second round giving him two, if healthy, first round picks. Daniel created a starting lineup as clean as his beautiful balled head and shit out a bench as nasty as his butthole after draft weekend. Whoever plays you round one of the playoffs should thank you for creating a team that will practically give them a bye. First year of 17 games in a season, and first year we have three first round byes.
Princess Taco aka Brad- Grade B
Brad I want you to know i do not hate your team and I am truly happy you will not be in the taco bowl again. I feel Kamara has lost credit this year because Brees is gone, but that man is a Dog. After that you followed it up with the most entertaining WR in the league and the second best TE. Gus Edwards was the most Brad pick you could have, but better your 4th round than you first. Luckily Davis was a steal in the 7th and Aiyuk will be a huge weapon for the 9ers. The only advice I can give you is to look at Paul’s bench and learn from him. You have no depth or upside. Kind of like your dick.
Old Man Brooks Aka Old Man Brooks- Grade A-
Sweet baby Jesus thank you Mike for drafting two Qb’s. The thought of you going from playoff contender to irrelevant makes me sick to my stomach. Arguably the top RB1,2 and WR 1,2 combo in the league will keep you in contention all year. Jacobs and Gage will start your season as your flex but will not end it there. Luckily you have Connor, Chark and Sutton waiting to feel that role. One of three Taco Champs Mike will regain his spot in the playoffs.
2021’s own International A”RB”MS Race between Parker and Gabe.
Fluke Skywalker aka Gabe- Grade C+
His name says it all. Being happy with second place is like being happy with kissing your cousin and we all know Gabe grew up Gilbert, so it checks out. Grabbing Aaron Jones is a great pick but following up with a rookie RB who you dont even know where he went to college is as Gab as Gab can get. No wait having two bench RBs as your starting flex players is as Gab as Gab can get. WAIT it gets worse having no RBs on your bench is as Gab as Gab can get.
Shut Up I saw your bench, still irrelevant.
REFORMED aka Parker- Grade A-
If you want to know what happens when you spend two hours on R/ FF the week before the draft just look at Parker’s team. Parker did what all intelligent humans would do and drafted CMC with the first overall pick. He than followed it up with not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, but 5 WRs back to back. Parker has better WR’s has his Flex 1 and 2 than most teams have as their starting WRs. Now this is where Gabe and Parker start their battle to see who can spend the most fab on the next great RB waiver pick up. Kareem Hunt is not a viable RB2 no matter how much you tell yourself. Now wait for week 4 and trade Miller or Dustin for one of their over-performing RBs and you will be just fine. The best part of all of this is watching you find new ways to come in 5th place.
Dex* aka The CHAMP- Grade A+
Honestly the proof is in the pudding. This is good ol fashing smart decision making by the none other than the reigning Champ. Did any of us expect anything less? No, we didn’t. Jonathan Taylor with the 9th pick is even better since he will be a top two FF player this year, but it gets better. Travis Kelce dropping to the second round followed up by Edwards-Helaire dropping to the third. At this point I’m not drafting my team you guys are drafting it. Ceedee Lamb and Tyler Lockett are solid WRs which arent even the best WR on this team. Will Fuller has a one week suspension just allowing him more rest. A bench field with upside only shows the knowledge few have allowing for the Champ to auto draft the last two rounds and take a nap while the rest of the league sweated it out.
Remember, all this just my opinion and the Grades might not be what you want, but they are Right.
-Dex* aka The Champ
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