Week 7 Power Rankings-Unbiased

Below is the power ranking through week 7 for the 10-Guys-1- Cup league.

#10 Parker Johnson-AKA 2008 Miami Dolphins

Parker Johnson is what happens when you believe everything you read on the internet. Parker went down a reddit rabbit hole and found himself with a ff team riddled with flex 2 WR’s. Going this route Parker put all of his eggs in the CMC basket and humpty dumpy had a great fall. A smart man would have taken a RB who was less injury prone like Derrick Henry. Hence why we see Parker at the bottom of the league. At least he’s a good commissioner.

#9 Dustin Srinivas- AKA Irrelevant

I have spent more time trying to think of what to say about Dustin’s dumpster fire of a team, than all the other teams combined. Dustin you should stop playing this year to win, but start playing to not lose the taco bowl.

Its week 17 and here is what you need to know:

-The Bears are the best available def

-Greg Zuerlein plays the cardinals

-Ryan Tannehill plays the Dolphins

You will need to start your best team to beat Parker in the toilet bowl.

#8 Brad Barber- AKA The Prince who Couldn’t

Our sweet sweet Brad, your team looks so average yet its performing below average. You landed at number 9 edging out Parker because of your great draft strategy. Tom Brady has been a lightening rod this year for you, but unfortunately he’s electrocuting the rest of your team. You will win three more games this year, but at least thats three more wins than Parker and Dustin.

#7 Charlie Yates- AKA Bend Don’t Break

Charlie your team is not bad, but for fucks sake it isnt good either. You had a good run for the first 7 years, but you need to take your spot as #7. I will help you out here buddy. Trade Kyler Murray and Zeke to Paul for Stafford, Mixon and Deebo. Bam you are back in contention. You can’t rely on the team you have, so make the team you deserve.

#6 Paul Karatechop- AKA Below Average

This by far was the easiest ranking to make, your team is in 6th place, where it belongs. If you told me a team had Cook, Mixon, Chase and Deebo I would tell you that person fucks. But per usual Paul busted his nut to early and followed up with the most garbage team the league has seen. The worst part of all of this is I wont be able to knock you out of the first round of the playoffs, but luckily Miller will take care of that for us. Lucky for you, you have benefited from an easy schedule and will undeservedly fall into the playoffs.

#5 Daniel Masters- AKA Oakland A’s

Honestly bravo to you my friend. You have created the most backwards cast of a team this league has seen and it has turned you into a playoff contender. Starting a full team of Flex 1’s has paid off you should easily walk into the playoffs. A bit surprised you did not grab a back of Mahomes. MY favorite part of your team is that you dont even have a full bench rostered.

#4 Mike Brooks- AKA 2009 Chargers

Start to finish Mike easily has the most talented team in the league. His biggest weakness is trying to start the correct flex player between, Brown, Lockett and Josh Jacobs. With all that being said Mike’s team can be best compared to the 2009 Chargers. ONe of the most electric and talented teams in the last 30 years. The correlation is so canning that I really do not to tell you what happens next. If you have any questions just go ask Mark Sanchez.

#3 Andrew Miller- AKA FLY EAGLES FLY!!!!

I have said it multiple times, but Miller’s team is riding the eagles like Sam and Frodo rode Gandolf’s secret and under-utelized giant bird. Mike might have the most talented team, but Miller has the best FF team. I don’t even know how you drafted a team of this calliber. Between drunkenly texting your ex and reading anime porn you were able to become a powerhouse. Unfortunately you would be the worst champ in league history and don’t have the mental capability to win in the playoffs. But we are all just happy you made it.

#2 Gabe Fabian-Sometimes it’s better to be lucky then Good!

I can’t believe we almost voted you out of the league. The forest Gump of Fantasy Football, you surprise me week after week. It’s nice to have a team beside my own to root for, having an easy opponent in the Championship is something I can get use to and youre the Allie to my Noah. The most average looking team in the league has paid off for you and I am proud to watch you grow.

#1 Dextrick Abeyta-The Champ

WE THE CHAMPS TIL WE AINT THE CHAMPS NO MORE!!!!

With Love,

The Champ*